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How to have better conversations with people you've just met, according to science

It is a lot like re-programming a computer. Talking le to a catharsis, which means a feeling of relief. Talking helped her.

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The client is encouraged to take an inventory of the negative thoughts that pop into her mind throughout a normal day. It is this experience of hearing ourselves that allows us at times to suddenly think of what to do.

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We find ourselves stuck in a state of despair and pain. She left my office and I have never seen her again, but her story stays with me. Many times simeone we talk with a friend, a family member or a therapist, we are stuck. Nothing has changed that caused the suffering in our lives, but talking has drained off some of the pain and this brings relief. Talking le to new solutions Talking helps in other ways, too.

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For the next two months, this mother arrived for her appointment each week. Then the therapist and client together work out a series of positive Frontenac massage girl to counteract the negative statements. In my practice, I ask people a lot of questions to keep them talking about what troubles them so they might discover their own solution. At these times, talking can help. She started her story with her pregnancy and took me a step at a time through the life of her son.

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Talking is cathartic There are many experiences in life that at times leave us womeone overwhelmed. Very often, they are surprised how they suddenly think of how to solve the problem. When these experiences descend upon us, we feel emotionally frozen.

Focusing the attention on the other person in those moments can help us get past those awkward spots, she says. I could see the despair and grief she was feeling. Since I am a psychologist, it is obvious to me how talking helps people. However, the benefits simeone talking are not apparent to many people.

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I have many stories of how people benefit from talking, but the story that follows is one I will never forget. She related that after a prolonged illness with cancer, her year-old son died.

Years ago, a woman in her late 40s arrived in my office. I did nothing but listen.

Old thoughts that are counterproductive are erased and new thoughts that are positive and constructive are entered into the mind. Research actually suggests that people who ask more questions are better liked by their conversation partners than people who ask fewer questions.

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Give someone a compliment It shifts the focus to the other person and should make them feel good, Sandstrom explains. The charged feelings within us become less charged.

By Kenneth N. The client is then encouraged to talk to herself during the day by repeating these statements.

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The benefits of talking are not apparent to many people. A question can either kick off a ro or keep it going, Sandstrom says.

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At these times, we walk around feeling emotionally charged up and filled with tension. I listened. Listening gives people an opportunity to tell their story, and, in the telling, they find relief and a quieting of their emotions.

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But as we talk, we hear ourselves express feelings and information that have not been expressed before. At times I smiled with her and at times my eyes, like her eyes, were filled with tears.

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Our fear assumptions fail to take into the social norms of politeness, Schroeder says. Frequently, what has happened to us cannot be changed, such as someonf someone we love dies, a tragic accident occurs or we have learned we have a terrible illness.

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My eyes were focused on her and her feelings became my feelings. Be curious Ask questions. There is a word that captures how ot helps—catharsis.

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There is a branch of psychology that believes behavior can be changed by changing the way we think. Research shows the opposite, however, that people nearly always are willing to engage in a conversation when prompted by someone else. A solution pops into our mind. Audio CD.

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